Pastor Apollo Quiboloy—the self-proclaimed “Appointed Son of God” who, despite all the allegations and controversies swirling around him, seems to be more elusive than a mythical creature. The man has managed to slip through the fingers of law enforcement with a grace that would make a magician jealous. So, why can’t Quiboloy be caught? Let’s explore this divine mystery with all the sarcasm it deserves.

First of all, let’s give credit where credit is due: Quiboloy clearly has *supernatural* powers. I mean, how else do you explain his uncanny ability to evade capture? Forget your run-of-the-mill fugitives who hide out in remote locations or change their identities. Quiboloy? He’s probably chilling in plain sight, sipping his favorite drink, and laughing at the sheer absurdity of it all. After all, when you’re the “Appointed Son of God,” who needs a disguise? Divine protection beats witness protection any day.

Let’s not forget the *impeccable* timing of his disappearances. Just when you think the authorities are closing in, poof! Quiboloy is gone, like a puff of smoke. It’s almost as if he has an inside man—oh wait, who needs that when you have divine intervention on your side? His followers probably believe that every time he vanishes, it’s just another miracle proving his divinity. Who needs to answer to earthly laws when you’re supposedly on a first-name basis with the Almighty?

And then there’s the *aura of invincibility* that surrounds him. Allegations? Charges? Legal investigations? Those are just minor inconveniences in the life of someone who claims to be God’s chosen one. After all, how can mere mortals hope to capture someone who, in his own mind, is above the law? It’s not that Quiboloy can’t be caught—it’s that the very idea of holding him accountable is, to him and his followers, laughable. The laws of man simply don’t apply to someone who claims to operate under the laws of heaven.

We also have to consider the *strategic genius* of his public persona. Quiboloy has surrounded himself with loyal followers who would likely take a bullet for him—or at least block the door when the authorities come knocking. It’s like having a personal army, except this one believes that any action against their leader is an attack on their faith. And let’s be real: there’s nothing quite like a devoted following to make law enforcement think twice about trying to apprehend someone. Why risk a potential showdown when you can just… not?

And let’s not forget the *endless resources* at his disposal. Quiboloy’s church is not exactly a small-time operation. With a sprawling network of properties, businesses, and loyalists, he has all the tools needed to stay one step ahead. Who needs to worry about legal troubles when you have the means to fund a lifestyle that makes disappearing easier than ordering takeout?

Why can’t Quiboloy be caught? Because catching him would require navigating a labyrinth of divine self-importance, loyal followers, and perhaps even a touch of divine comedy. It’s not that the authorities aren’t trying—it’s just that Quiboloy operates on a level that is, to him, beyond the reach of mere mortals. Whether it’s his “divine” protection, strategic genius, or just plain luck, one thing is clear: Quiboloy’s ability to evade capture is nothing short of a modern-day miracle—at least in the eyes of his most devoted believers.